Domestic Chaos Commander Pillows

'This is our home's communications center.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"I'm so good at this!"

"She just asked me if she could have a few friends in to watch the International Horse Show."

'Anthony! And all over my new carpet! Bad cat! Bad cat!'

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

The sofa freshly made up...

'It wasn't premeditated.

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

Paper Trail

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

Repletion.

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

"I'm running a loose ship."

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

The Adventures of Wren Tin Tin

How men shop for towels.

'Don't track mud in the house! 'IT'S NOT MUD! IT'S DOG POO!'

The art of fishing.

'I told you we shouldn't have brought him.'

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"Mom is pretty certain I'm on my third guardian angel by now."

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'