Dome Dwellers Pillows

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

'Hmph. College kids.'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

The End is Nigh

Student Food Pyramid

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

OM, SWEET OM

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'I foresee an and to our global troubles ... The world will end tomorrow.'

"I propose we go with the second option."

'You folks just sit right there and I'll go kill some hors d'oeuvres.'

"Crap. I overslept."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

Fortune teller sees impending doom

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

The world of medicine as we know it, will end soon.

Man crawls out of avalanche to see two rescue dogs relaxing.

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

I just discovered how to make bronze! Ah, thinking outside the rocks!

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"Your family called. When you get caught up, they'd like you to send them a proof of life."

Trilby - 'Malbrouck s'en va-t'en guerre'.

'If it wasn't for their great pension scheme I'd have packed this in years ago.'

"I'd like a full canteen with lemon."

"Boy, I have such a bad hangover! The guy I stung last night was drunk..."

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

Sam Allardyce