Doggie Dialogue Fans T-Shirts

'His barks's worse than his bite.'

"You mean, with that yakerpoop app, you can have a service stop by and puck up your bag of crap?"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Conversation between Dogs.

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

"The 'yip yip yip' is mine. Stick to your 'woof woof woof.'"

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

"No, it's not my birthday, either."

'First you come down, then we talk.'

'Play dead.'

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

'Don't keep going on about your cold paws - I've got my own problem!'

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

"If I hear 'Who's my widdle snoogie woogums' one more time I think I'm gonna snap."

"I don’t know, Taylor – it seems to me, anyone who doesn’t talk to their dog is crazy."

"Are we sure he's the alpha?"

"He chews his nails, his pencils, his glasses... and I get scolded for chewing his shoes!"

'I'm pretty sure she's talking to you - yes, you!'

Well, he's bought himself a new car with a "new car smell" of plastic fumes, so no, I'm not keen on going on car rides right now...

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

'Oh, it's not that I don't like humans, it's just my allergies.'

"If you could spend an hour with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"

"She's half poodle, half pain in the rear."

"My mother ate math homework while she was pregnant with me."

"Please. Please just stop barking."

"Let's stop pretending we understand the English setters and just turn on the subtitles."

"Barking can be very affirmational."

"my people are like 70 in human years."

'I wouldn't say I'm apathetic, I just don't give a hoot.'