Dog Sweater Lover Prints

I'm so happy that this sweater covers everything but my anus and genitalia.

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

Christmas sweater alternatives

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

Rock on Grandma!

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

"It was a crime of fashion."

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

"Mr. Mullins did say I should stroke you but I didn't think he meant it literally."

"Out! Damned Spot!"

Keeping Warm

High in the Peruvian Andes, the alpaca sweater is born.

"What are you complaining about? You've been looking for an excuse to go off your diet."

"Haven't you guys ever heard of 'casual Fridays'?"

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

Reindeer Sweater

Turtleneck Alternatives

"Ms. Hoffman, we're from the SPCA investigating allegations of animal cruelty. Is it true that you force your small dog to wear holiday sweaters?"

'Do red sweaters have that carcinogenic red dye #2 in them?'

"My issue as a Sphynx-Cat is that I'm always cold..."

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

On trend Christmas jumpers

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a cat. Why do you ask?"