Dog Poop Detective T-Shirts

Dog Poop in the Snow

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Barks in code.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'So who needs sonar?!'

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

Fido and Fifi

"Now how did she know?"

'Where my balls go?'

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"