Dog Diner Pillows

"Anything, really. There's almost nothing I won't eat."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'You made me jump,'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

Cafe offers corn several ways.

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'-and I suppose you want chips with it?'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

Did you slice this beef? You nearly missed.

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

'All right, I agree with you.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

'It's my idea of a seven course meal... a hot dog and a six-pack of beer!'

'All our food is locally sourced.'

'The special today is scraps.'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

Waiter talking to diner