Dog Biscuit Detective Pillows

'Instead of brushing my teeth can't I just chew on one of his dog biscuits?'

"I know! I know! Biscuits! I'm on it!"

". . .What's this world coming to?"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"What's all this?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Fido and Fifi

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

Doggy Bites

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

Wanted dog! reward!

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

He Did It!

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Cause and Effect.

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

"I hear he has more than bones buried."