Dog Behavior Gifts

'And if you ever did catch your tail, are you sure it would make you happy?'

'Is he sitting?'

'What does he mean, we're not on the list?'

"So far, so good."

'Bad dog!'

"He suffers from bone loss. He can't remember where he buries them."

'Do you think I over-praised Marmaduke for fetching the paper?'

'Don't even think about it.'

'That's the last time I trust you to train the dog!'

'What are you doing with that toilet?! I drink out of there!'

'No need to see your ID. I recognize you. And you still can't come in.'

"How long will it take to widen this door?"

'Bad dog, stop doing the crossword.'

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

"It all started when the neighbour bought a leaf blower..."

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"Her master might be rich enough to pay for a French coiffeur, but she barks at the moon just like an ordinary mongrel."

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

"Yes, I'm a dog person. How did you know?"

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

Dog dreams of dinner.

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

"It's like this, kid - you're best friends, you shake hands...then they demand you go fetch something!'

In the dog park

'I don't sniff wine.'

'I read 'The Hidden Lives of Dogs' last year, so this doesn't come as a complete surprise to me!'

'For the life of me, I have no idea how he ties that.'

'For pity's sake, Albert, can't I step out for 5 minutes without Sparky deposing you as alpha male?!'

"He sniffs my bottom, but is that LOVE?"

"It's a fantastic character reference..."

"They keep talking to me like I understand English, doc. I'm just a dog for crying out loud."

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

"This time, by god, he's going to hang on to the d*mn stick."

"Doggie treats are just another way for humans to control us and steal our freedom."