Documenting Gifts

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Kirsten Johnson

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

A man looking at a piece of art through a phone camera

After forty-seven years in management, it was only appropriate that he be buried in paperwork.

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

Harvesting the folder crop in Manila

In and Out Trays

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

"Here is the one pager we all agreed on..."

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

The Young Jacques Cousteau at the Beach with his Mother.

'In, out, fiddling.'

Declaration of Independence. Legend has it that John Hancock signed his name extra large to annoy King George. The quill must have come from a mocking bird!

Files of Doom

An environmental documentary crew filming garbage washing up on the beach.

Social lens of the photojournalist

Put it in writing!

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

Desk Organizers: 'He Said' and 'She Said'.

United States Constitution.

Michael Moore.

"Singing cowboy AND notary public"