Doctor's Waiting Room Victor Pillows

"By the time we go in, I'll be too old for a pediatrician."

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Medical Center.

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

"Please fill out these forms. We don't need them for anything, but you're making me nervous staring at your watch."

'Dr. Bone's first opening for a new patient is 2 months from now. Will that work for you?'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'I'll take #1.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"I cancelled my last appointment without phoning the Doctor... so I'm making up for it by showing up without phoning!"

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

"Well, if you want my blood pressure lower don't keep waiting two hours to see you."

"The doctor would like to know if anyone else out here needs surgery before he puts his stuff away."

"You appear to have caught that bug that's been going around my waiting room."

"When did we switch from magazines to musical instruments?"

"I've been waiting here so long I think I'm cured."

"Don't just sit there give me a hand."

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

"Wake up, RIP. The doctor will see you now."

You'd think fro the cost of an appointment, the doctor could afford current magazines!

"Fill out the form and have a seat in the waaait... waaait... waiting room."

Top 10 things to worry about in 2020.

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

'That Doctor has a lot of nerve...I've waited six weeks for this appointment and he says, 'you're lucky we caught it in time'.'

"Fill out these 'new patient' forms, but leave 'age' blank, as you may age a year before you're done."