Doctor's Waiting Room Regulars Prints

Hypochondriac.

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

I'm sorry, Miss. I can't involve the bouncer just to "teach somebody a lesson." Menu.

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

"An appointment is required except for Wednesday afternoons, when he suffers fools gladly."

'I can only describe it as one of those symptoms that goes away whenever I see a doctor.'

"By the time we go in, I'll be too old for a pediatrician."

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Unfortnuately, we won't know what's wrong with you until we do an autopsy."

Receptionist to patients in waiting room: 'The doctor will be with you tomorrow as he believes that time heals all wounds.'

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

Are we a bunch of losers? Who are you talking about? Me, Randy, Sadie, even you Uncle Mort – all of us cafe regulars. We've been hanging out at this place for years. I've been working here two decades. Do we have nowhere else to go? More powerful even than inertia: Any momentum killed by an uncompromising nap regimen. Zzzz.

"Where does it hurt?"

'It's an animated movie, you don't have to do method.'

"If you don't mind, I'm trying a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'The doctor will be a little late...why don't you discuss each others ailments until he gets here!'

'I want to change to another doctor, because I've read all of the magazines in your waiting room.'

'We don't have a treadmill, so the stress test here is waiting two hours to see a doctor.'

Hey, little buddy. How's it going in there? You fall in? Occupied! I know it's occupied, little buddy. We all know. It's been occupied for 30 minutes. There's a long line out here. I said "occupied!" When a person says "occupied" from in here, that's supposed to buy another 10 minutes at least. "Occupied" is not a magic word, little buddy. Inhabited! That neither. We're all still here.

'Our back issues of magazines don't go back this far. Have you tried your doctor's waiting room?'

Please don't feed the fish.

'Sir, do you want an appointment? No thanks, I've come to finish the story I started yesterday.'

"Whatever you do, don't complain about the coffee!"

"Your leg's not supposed to do that when I tap it with this little hammer."

Although grateful, George thought his visitors overdid it with the chocolates.

'Felt fine before I got here. Must've caught this from someone in the waiting room.'

Diner. Special: Seizure Salad. It's probably a typo, but I'm not going to risk it.

'Does the dentist exit? - well, I've always believed in him, and I've heard he performs miracles - but I've never actually seen him.'

"At least they got rid of that dreadful smell."