Doctor's Visit Debater Prints

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"So what brings you in today?"

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

Profits for Big Pharma

"Poverty is a social disease and it's not covered by your health insurance"

Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

'How can I help you? We offer - choice, diversity or competition.'

'Legislature' doctor scratching his head over a syringe marked 'Free market Principles' with those marked 'Regulations' in the bin

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'I'm holding firm against any government health plan.'

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

"I hope that you're not refusing free dental care for ideological reasons."

"Please fill out these medical forms, which are identical to the ones you filled out earlier online, and have the exact same questions your doctor will ask you later in the exam room."

Vaping cigarette

'In order for the new Health Care Bill to pass, we'll need to remove the option of Health and Care, and give taxpayers the bill.'

That rattling sound in your chest doesn't concern me as much as that rattling sound in your head.

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

'Very interesting... your blood pressure is 17 over 76.'

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'