Doctor-patient Relationship Fan Prints

"Unfortnuately, we won't know what's wrong with you until we do an autopsy."

'Where does it hurt?'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'Could you wear a Dr. Phil mask?'

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

'Termites!'

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

A doctor statue and a patient statue

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

"Is this your first time seeing a specialist?"

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

'The doctor will see you as soon as he shrugs into his god suit.'

'I'd like to take some x-rays to determine if there is a problem or if you're just being a big baby.'

"What do I do? He refuses to sleep on his own."

'The good news is that it's not my problem.'

'Doctor Bohan will see you now, Mrs. Stradley, but he really doesn't want to.'

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

"Well, if it's elective surgery, I vote no."

"There's very little of this going around? Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"You know, you wanting to get a second opinion is very insulting to my medical degree."

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."

"You want a second opinion? Do you have a second illness?''

'So the epithelial cells recovered by the fiberoptic branschoscopy suggests....'

"I know we agreed to a period of watchful waiting, but this is more watchful than I bargained for."

"Reaching for your wallet at the front desk, however, should be no problem!"

"Alright, alright - I PROMISE I won't get a second opinion."