Doctor Admirer Gifts

"Your guess is as good as mine, but yours isn't covered by insurance."

'Quick! Contact my doctor.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Money isn't making you happy? Okay, I'll raise my rate, and we'll see how that works for you.'

Alexander Fleming

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

Medical Examinations.

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

"The good news is, with gene therapy, it's now possible to grow back legs."

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

'The Nobel prize for medicine was awarded to Dr. Quentin R. Owlsey, who developed an anesthetic that leaves patients capable of writing checks.'

'Doc, my problem is that I don't believe in myself!'

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

Dear Medication, how are you? I'm feeling much better thanks to you?/ Finally she began responding to treatment.

"I can't find anything wrong with you - it must be the drink." "OK - come back when you're sober."

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal eye drops you're using.'

"Now, those pills you just took may produce some visual side effects."

The uplifting nurse.

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

"Thank you for taking part in our medical trials. It's nothing to worry about we just need to borrow your brain for a couple of hours!"

"I'll be honest with you, I have no idea what half of this equipment does, but it looks pretty cool, don't you think?"

Flying NHS Walk-in Centre

Cardiology.

'He was a bit of a showoff.'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

'This certainly is a quick way of removing steel splinters, doctor!'

Richard the Pigheart

'Remember, Fenton, polling results are in the eye of the manipulator.'