Doc Office Joker Prints

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."