Dna Deliberator Pillows

"What would you like done with your DNA?"

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

The Proust of Twitter

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Family DNA

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Sharon's into genetic engineering!'

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

"Please accept the apologies of this court. You're free to go now, and, by the way, here's your DNA back."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

A caveman kid sees his ancestor in a museum exhibit

'I sense this may not be a one-way journey.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

'ADN'

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

'Well, look who has stock in Genomes-R-Us.'

Jerk Gene

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

How did life begin? Image shows a strand of dna in the form of a question mark (with a single cell as the dot, floating in water or primeval soup). The image also refers to life beyond the earth, with the cell-like blobs resembling galaxies in outer space

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

DNA Xmas.

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

DNA doctor

"Yes, human DNA is very close to ours, but obviously, they're missing the nucleotide necessary for caring for the environment. . ."