Diy Dodgers T-Shirts

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

Pulling a Sickie.

Putting Practice.

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Private Viewing

'Storm'

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

"Can't you rake the leaves? I'm raking in cash."

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

"I couldn't work out how to assemble my wardrobe - then suddenly, it all fitted together..."

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Walk right in. Sit right down.

As the summer drew to a close, Mrs. Bank's back-to-school nightmares progressed from a class of her worst students, to a class of their parents.

"This is my exercise routine, and this is my routine to avoid that exercise routine."