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'...Or does it go 'measure twice and cut once'?'

'I just love the way you've done the stone cladding.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

A door handle and a hammer are insulting each other.

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

'That was some varnish remover!'

Fred, Mozart's equally brilliant, but lesser known brother who was a carpenter and built his first symphony hall when he was three.

Kitchen Tiling.

'The job you found on line is the same one I placed... for a handyman to fix things around here.'

Ceci n'est pas une drill!

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"I took advantage during the lockdown of learning how to make all my own clothes."

"Well I've done the floor! Only two days hard graft, but I thought you said the apartment had a sea view..."

ground force

"Tacky paint formerly wet paint."

'We're thinking of laying down crazy paving.'

Frustrated Dad's and Toy Construction.

"That? Oh, that's the contractor insult tax. We add that to the invoice when a customer treats us as if we're somehow constantly contriving to rip them off."

An astronaut attempting to fix falling down wallpaper

"You can find the DIY section yourself."

"Neat hey? I've installed a skylight..."

'Brain surgery'

"Nice abs."

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

"Mom told me I can't give you any more tools for Father's Day, Birthday or Christmas."

Now, which one of you did this to my rocket?!

"Oscar has been known to reinvent himself."

"Uh-oh. Mechanics."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. V

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

"Warning! A small craft advisory has been issued! Tia Carmen just got back from the hobby store."

Dog with chain stuck in wall.

'I should never have let you pick the taps!'

'This could be trouble, boys.'