Divorce Parties Pillows

"Sir your wife would like to formally invite you to her 'bring your own lawyer' divorce party."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Bacchus.

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Champagne

Cat Nip.

Very Difficult Conversations

Early photobombing

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"I was almost that last year."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Bubbly

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Cardiac Recovery.

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

"I can't believe he brought her."

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'