Divine Jokester Prints

"He can't see us from there, can he?"

"Looks like you have Heaven Basic."

Clown God

'I'm considered a saint, but my mother always thought I could've done better.'

'Such a shame...he had everything coming his way. Too bad he didn't notice he was in the wrong lane.'

'Heaven's great. It's just that now there's nothing to look forward to.'

Moses and the burning brush.

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

24/7 th Heaven

Copyrighted commandments

"I was rather hoping you'd tell me to beget!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Not now, Oliver."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Read that last part back to me.'

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"Beware of God"

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'