Divine Dilemma Fan Pillows

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

"If we went to war, wouldn't God be on the spot?"

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

God creates humans.

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

New Years Reolutions

Angel Golf

Road Guilt

"Oh shit! What have I done? Undo key! Undo key!"

'Free will? -- I think they need more structure than that.'

After-Death Mints

"I don't like to complain, but he should've created some jobs, too."

"Which would you prefer - coming under fire or being raked over the coals?"

Football of the Gods...

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

"Our privacy policy has changed. Press 'I Agree,' because what are you really going to do about it?"

"Wow Jesus, you don't look anything like your pictures."

Golf Sale

Golfers' Heaven

'Meanwhile, in another corner of the Garden of Eden...'

'What's with all the politicians suddenly getting struck by lightning?'

"Actually, sir, the rules were chiseled in stone."

"No, I can't come out tonight, Darren. I'm washing my hair."

Moses with Ten Commandments: 'But will these be good for the economy?'

"I'm feeling smitey today."

'They like the manna, but they're afraid you're fattening them up for something.'

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"