Dividend Detective Mugs

"What's the current dividend yield of IBM?..."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

IRS Audit Section

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

The United States' economy deflating.

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

Have you seen my money?

Financial Corruption

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."