Distance Debater Gifts

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

The why-can't-this-event-be-in-miles-like-other-sports-on-this-country 10K.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Dialogue

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

The Proust of Twitter

Changing Minds

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"Now that's a win."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Always Compatible

Netanyahu versus Gantz

"I don't think Dawson understands the concept behind the 'Talking Stick.'"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"If I vote my conscience, it's Sanders. If I vote my pocketbook, it's Trump. If I vote my emotions, it's Hillary. If I vote my anger, it's Cruz..."

The Clinton Campaign, post-mid-September

Like Minded

Verbal Orders

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

And now, for a rebuttal.

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'