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'I'm the real thing. I'm FROM the West Nile.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

"Gross."

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Side effects may include....'

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"