Discussing Literature Pillows

"Oh, that Jane. I thought you were talking about Jane Austen."

"Call me old-fashioned, but I felt much more at home with the Forsytes than I do with the Louds."

"It's really the black whale I hate, but I didn't want to appear racist."

"Meet the author"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

Miss Jellyby

One book... One book... One book...

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

Hamlet.

"You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you."

"The stories are false. The names are real to stimulate sales."

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

'Then it's agreed. It doesn't have to rhyme.'

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

The Doomed Character

'I don't know about you, Tex, but I thought that the relationship between Elizabeth and Mr Darcy was darn tootin'.'

Queequeg: Master Harpoonist and Social Director, USS Pequod.

"The one and only truth!"

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times—Hey! I'm taking to you! It was the best of times..."

'This is because you disagree with my theory on existentialism?'

Library: 'The Wit & Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.'

Trilby - 'Three nice clean Englishmen'.

Yes, such a meeting of Mistress' friends can be very feisty and involve lots of arguing: it's called a "book club"...

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

Gathering 'Round The Pork Barrel.

"Walden'?! Are you insane? Do you have any idea how elusive transcendental philosophy is to a 13-year-old prepubescent juvenile delinquent?!"

A monk plugs a leaking cask of alcohol with his finger.