Discussing Life Insurance Gifts

"No, Mrs. Johnson, in life insurance we don't have a policy that provides for the 'full replacement value' for your husband."

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'Don't worry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you that throwing a lot of money at it won't cure.'

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

"It's about the possibility of a raise, Mr. Oliphant."

Malpractice Problems

"What were you doing talking to our insurance agent today?"

'Of course, you're welcome to a second opinion from our HMO's insurance executive.'

"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."

'Now I'll show you what turns a $6,000 operation into a $17,000 operation.'

'The good news is your HMO has waived your co-payment on the autopsy.'

"Do you remember lifestyles of the rich and famous?"

'I understand you cover the deductible?'

Life insurance company

"He's on life support. Mostly support."

Relate - "...If she doesn't feel like cooking, then I send her to the takeaway."

"...I....I'm a... life insurances...erm...salesman..."

"Your disease appears to be drug resistant, so let's see how it responds to intensive billing."

'Looks like your insurance does not cover pre-existing organs.'

"Can you spell that, sir?"

"I'm glad we had that little chat on euthanasia last night, Grandma."

"My concussion caused that out-of-body feeling, but my insurance caused that out-of-pocket experience."

"For me, crime pays for what Medicare doesn't cover."

"Your HMO won't cover this so I'm going to rub some salt in these wounds."

'At least we get decent pensions.'

'However, one fell victim to the US health care debate...'

'Princes have never been lower for medical procedures in the states.'