Discussing Life Insurance Gifts

"No, Mrs. Johnson, in life insurance we don't have a policy that provides for the 'full replacement value' for your husband."

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

I know! How about I take out the trash? Clean the basement? Re-tile the bathroom? Take you to the ballet? Ok. Ok. I'll have "the talk" with Teddy.

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

'Don't worry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you that throwing a lot of money at it won't cure.'

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

Malpractice Problems

"It's about the possibility of a raise, Mr. Oliphant."

So, you'd like a battery of unnecessary tests that aren't covered by insurance .. Are you sure about this? Doctor-Assisted Financial Suicide.

Sorry, Rudy, no way can I raise your pay to $15 an hour. Why not? 'Cause that would destroy jobs. What would you do for a job once I moved the caf

I've been working here more than seven years. I'd like to talk about retirement benefits. I'd like a long-term contract. Ha ha. I wouldn't mind a dental plan and you know what else? Profit sharing! Hee hee, ho ho, ha ha. I really did just do it for the laughs. Ha ha hoo hoo hee -

"What were you doing talking to our insurance agent today?"

'Of course, you're welcome to a second opinion from our HMO's insurance executive.'

"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."

'Now I'll show you what turns a $6,000 operation into a $17,000 operation.'

'The good news is your HMO has waived your co-payment on the autopsy.'

'I understand you cover the deductible?'

Yes, we do sell house insurance and life insurance, but I don't think you need both.

"Do you remember lifestyles of the rich and famous?"

Life insurance company

"He's on life support. Mostly support."

Relate - "...If she doesn't feel like cooking, then I send her to the takeaway."

"...I....I'm a... life insurances...erm...salesman..."

'Looks like your insurance does not cover pre-existing organs.'

"Your disease appears to be drug resistant, so let's see how it responds to intensive billing."

"My concussion caused that out-of-body feeling, but my insurance caused that out-of-pocket experience."

"Can you spell that, sir?"

Your medical insurance ran out? Like it was being chased by a grizzly bear.

"For me, crime pays for what Medicare doesn't cover."

"I'm glad we had that little chat on euthanasia last night, Grandma."

"Your HMO won't cover this so I'm going to rub some salt in these wounds."

'At least we get decent pensions.'

Another powerful man uses his position to sexually harass women. At least it's better than back in your day, right? I wouldn't know. You see, the ladies didn't talk much about that, except to say Mr. So-and-So was a cad, or Mr. So-and-So was all hands. And the fellas didn't talk about it either. Except to say Ms. So-and-So was stuck up, or Ms So-and-So was frigid. It's like your generation was talking in code. You knew it was serious when Ms. So-and-So said Mr. So-and-So did this-and-that.

'Ooops... I guess today, I'll miss my turnover target...'