Discount Diner Pillows

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

Zagat Rated.

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

"It's made with real angel hair."

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

'You made me jump,'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Internet Restaurant

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!