Disaster Recovery Planner T-Shirts

"So, Marvin, is it too late to build that back-up site in South Dakota?"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

Tsunami Evac Route

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

"Do I look like I need rescuing?"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'I'm taking no chances.'

'My backup special...'

'Andy, this is Doug. Looks like we're going to have to dip into the reserves earlier than we expected.'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'The end is near.'

Japan-Reconstruction

Saving up for a rainy day.

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

10/03/17 14:03

"Thank God we're insured"

"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."

'So much for Plan B!'

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

Not quite Beverly Hills.