Disaster Chef T-Shirts

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.

"Whoa! That's a lot of flame, Beth. I'll pick up a fire extinguisher on my way back from the gym."

'The casserole didn't make it.'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'I'm not an experienced cook so I use the smoke alarm as my timer!'

"How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?"

Is that pancake ready yet?

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'My hero!'

Recipes.

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"My dad ate my homework."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Hell's Kitchen/God's Pantry'

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

'Is it still edible?'

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"How is everything?"

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"This year WE EAT LIKE WOLVES."

'You've done it AGAIN,Doris- you've bought CAT food!!'