Disaster Chef T-Shirts

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.

"Whoa! That's a lot of flame, Beth. I'll pick up a fire extinguisher on my way back from the gym."

'The casserole didn't make it.'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'I'm not an experienced cook so I use the smoke alarm as my timer!'

"How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?"

Is that pancake ready yet?

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'My hero!'

Recipes.

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"My dad ate my homework."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

'Hell's Kitchen/God's Pantry'

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"The fire department ruined dinner."

'Is it still edible?'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"How is everything?"

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

"It's a tad undercooked."