Disapproving Parent Appreciator Prints

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Judge, jury and executioner.

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"...My daughter, the model..."

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

Very sorry

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'Get a job!? Dude, your daughter and I are working fulltime trying to get you a grandchild!'

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

"He made me promise I'd never mistreat you. Then he made me sit and listen to three house of dad rock."

"Parental advisory explicit content"

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

Friends began to feel that Gina was only dating Howard as a father figure.

"For the hundredth time, I'm sorry. It was dark, I was working fast..."

Parental Valentines Day Cards

"I know this sounds corny, Bob, but for me, the true measure of success is when I can look at the man in the mirror each day and still find a way to blame my parents for everything wrong in my life!"

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

"You don't need those glasses. Life is already in 3-D."

"Dad won't let me play video games because they promote violence...so he's letting me play with his assault rifle collection!"

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'