Director's Chair Dreamer Pillows

Liv Ullmann

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Artist and Musician

'I have everything a man could want - But I've still managed to hang onto my petty ambitions.'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"You're hired!"

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

"I can't believe Asimov hasn't been cancelled yet. Imagine thinking he can write about our experience!"

'If I'd had someone to help me when I started, I might have made CEO...actually, I did make CEO, but you know what I mean.'

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"I don't know - the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realized it was naked, ran, and hid from me."

"I love my luvvie."

Best Special Effects Award

The Horror Film Director.

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"I've figured out why my life is boring."

"Is there any way we can skip right to adulthood and start being in charge?"

"Yikes. I'm on in five minutes and still haven't figured out my character's motivation."

"Write your acceptance speech before winning the award."

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

'These computers are starting to really creep me out.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'Go ahead,ask me which way is north.'

Desk Request

Employee asleep with his head in the 'out' box.

'I'm filming a documentary on the long and dangerous journey to my spawning grounds...'

You don't understand....

"That one, too. They all look like big bags of money."