Diplomatic Expert Pillows

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

"I don't think Dawson understands the concept behind the 'Talking Stick.'"

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

A Terrible Shock

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

'Well people who said the SRA wasn't up to the job are going to have to eat their words now.'

"In the spirit of compromise, Canada is willing to offer any state of the United States, sanctuary if they wish to secede."

Attila demands Italy and Switzerland. Keep Switzerland but give him the boot.

John Kerry

Adios "Mexico"!

It may not be correct to call it another, 'Cold War'...but a new 'Cold Front' has moved in.

"It looks suspicious to me. Next thing we know, he'll claim the U.S. is part of Russia."

Trump bullies Mexico

'Shall we talk about your unacceptable behavior or shall we go directly to the penalty phase?'

'I'm very impressed with how you effectively dodged every one of my questions.'

Blair's Apology

"He's from the U.N. . . . you can tell by the bureaucrats who came with him."

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

'Sorry, boss, it's not my job.'

Shimon Peres

John is a moderating influence so we like to filter our proposals through his head

Helms Burton Titulo III

How the US Uses Godawful Guys to Fight Bad Guys

The Demand

Stephen Harper's China diary Day Three. Meet with Hu Jintao in sincere effort to make up for lost time.

I've been brought in to negotiate a settlement between you two. It's in the interest of this caf

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin Eating from Ukraine Cake

Veto Powers