Dino-mite Humorist T-Shirts

'It's called a digital watch.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Scuba cow"

Hats and Food

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

No jay walking.

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."