Dinner Hoster Mugs

'I wish somebody would invent the TABLE!'

Grace For Flies

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Horn of Leftovers

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"A little lamb please."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

"Veal or non-veal?"

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"My bouche was not amused."

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Appetizer is almost done."