Dining Etiquette Observers Mugs

'Apparently the one code you're not familiar with is a dress code.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"Great coffee, Carole."

'While you're doing his brain surgery, can you tweak things a bit so he'll stop picking his nose at the dinner table?'

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"The last doggy bag."

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"Guys, remember, no feeding frenzy: Leave some for Grandpa to chew on..."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

'Why does the vicar keep saying 'Bless you' when nobody is sneezing?'

"I'd like you two to meet Will and Diane Clampett. Will is the powerful chairman and chief executive officer of a large multinational corporation, and Diane is his passive-aggressive wife."

"What a slobster."

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

Screen Time at the Dining Table

"Wait. Let it breathe."

Mime on invisible phone in restaurant.

A guy steals popcorn from the man sitting next to him.

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

"A table for two? Would you like chairs with that, madam?"

I'll have a hamburger.

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

"So you mean to tell me that this business dinner actually involves business?"

"Oh, don't worry about that—it only goes off when someone taps 'no tip.'"

"You do realize you’re serving with the murder weapon?"

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

"Once again, Dave blew the date when his instincts got the better of his etiquette."

"Our chef recommends I 'get a haircut and lose the wise-guy attitude.'"