Dining_entertainers Prints

"Just so you guys know, in the event of an emergency I'm fully trained in P.R."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Zombie standup

Showbiz Awards

Children's Parties

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Clown on bike.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Extreme miming"

The Rooster Comedian.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Comedy Cafe

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"That'll be five bucks."

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Cow Show Tunes

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'