Dining Dispute Enthusiast T-Shirts

"And would you like a divorce with that?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"You owe me five bucks."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

I'm sorry, Miss. I can't involve the bouncer just to "teach somebody a lesson." Menu.

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

The Birth of Philosophical Thought Experiments.

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

"Because of the war can we split this?"

"Don't try to distance yourself from my choice of entrée."