Dining Deregulator T-Shirts

"If you'd like a separate checks I'd like separate tables."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Expense account or regular?"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

'Roast chickens £4. Pensioners £3.'

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Spaghetto

Pie.,

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

Gross! Get you external hard drive off the dinner table!

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'That's enough, thank you.'

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

DINER, 'No more rumcake for you, pal - go on home to your wife and elves.'

"Baldo, why are you eating dessert first?"

"I see what I want to eat. Where do I click 'add to cart'?"

"For dessert I'll have milk and cookies."

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"You were supposed to be IN the soup!"

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

Al's Breakfast Diner. No conversation, please -- The left side of my brain doesn't kick in till my second cup.

"Keep pouring. I'm a masochist."

No, I'm not a gambler at all. I just blow on these and they keep serving me drinks.

"Nothing for me, thanks."

The Man Who Couldn't Say "When."