Dining Alone Champion Pillows

"I'll have the lonely bastard platter for one please!"

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"I come here for the pepper."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

Garlic Free Zone.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'House wine?'

"More croutons, sir?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

'I'd like to order, please.' - 'Okay, what's your table number?' - 'I don't know.' - 'Find it, weak-minded fool!!' - 'What's our table number?' - 'There is no table number.' - 'There is no table number.' - 'You should have been assigned a table number whe

"Wine is plant-based food."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."