Dignitary Pillows

"Will nobody take me litterally?"

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Kitchen Tetris

Garlic Free Zone.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'House wine?'

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

'I'm not asking for a raise Mr. Betenheeler, but would it be possible for you to treat me as a human being?'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

'No, I'm not wearing high heels. I look taller because the minimum wage will increase and now I can stand taller.'

His movember moustache made him feel very distinguished.

'Ambiance or non-ambiance?'

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

'I prefer 'Baby Boomer' over 'Senior Citizen'.'

'Dressage? But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

'You have a comfortable home, three beautiful children, a husband who is devoted to you - what could you possibly want with nuclear capability?'

'If you're ready, who wants to go first?'

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

"The boss started me on the bottom. Not in the mail room, but in the office cafeteria washing dishes."

'There is no point in having a spoon rest on the counter for the coffee stirrer, if you're not going to use it!'

"He intends to die with dignity. He desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

"Are you still working on that?"

Hell's Restrooms.

"How we doing for tips today?"

"I like to sit here and look at all the things I don't have."

"We had special places in hell but what with the influx of baby boomers we're putting people wherever we can."

This house needs rules! ...so if you think of any you want to live by, just let us know.

"Which comes first - the chicken salad or the egg salad?"

'Good gracious, no, nothing for me. I'll just scavenge after my friends have left the table.'

A case of great interest at South Kensington Museum - Study from life

'Phoning or non phoning?'

This looks like a table for one. It's table for two, a seat for one and a lap for one.

Flo tries to look dignified while waiting to hand in her stool sample.