Digital Humor Lover Pillows

Goodnight Social Media.

'I'm sorry Sir, I can't allow you to enter this country. Your passport is okay, but your internet rating is lousy!'

Redundant horse searches for the definition of 'giddy up' online.

'Off my face book'

"I love waking up in the morning feeling refreshed."

Beyond the Pale

Barcode Dreams

Paradise: Entrance Without Q-R Code Prohibited

"Hey - can I tweet something real quick?"

"Good news! The tide is going out, I can upload."

Social Death

Web designer.

Narcissus - Me-mail

My divorce finally came through. I got custody of the children, my husband got custody of our friends on facebook.

'So you stubbornly continue surfing anonymously on Internet...'

"Of course, I can't guess your name! It was auto-generated by Google!"

"You are now unsubscribed. You will receive a weekly email confirming your unsubscription."

"Hi Linda! I see you just purchased a blender. Even so, I will now bombard you with non-stop blender ads for the next month!"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"OMG, LOL!"

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

The Smartass Phone

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

'for more obit info, go to...'

The Escape Key

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

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