Digital Gadgets Gifts

'This one holds 1200 songs AND it automatically screens out all the ones your parents could stand.'

'But how do you download music?'

Spooning

Free WiFi On-Board

I heard you have a really bad toothache. Meh. Not anymore. "Meh"? I got bored of that, so I just moved on. Amazing. "Mindless over matter." Bored of this phone.

Rudy, you're addicted to you iPhone. You've spent $4,256.99 on apps. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You're averaging 22 apps per day. You wake up in the middle of the night to buy them. You were mentioned favorably in Apple's quarterly earnings! Thwack! Hee hee.

"Mom, I can't get this book to turn on."

i-teddy

"They're texting it in."

"Do you have to read a broadsheet tablet?"

"We give thanks for superfast broadband, 4G connectivity ..."

Baby Screen Time

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

The Computer Bore

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'Not that net!'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Google car."

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Dog Walking Services

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Can our software do that?'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

That one has all the batteries!