Digital Era Skeptic Mugs

"I was trying to send a text message, but I think I bombed a terrorist camp with a remote control drone."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Rare Books

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

The other digital divide.

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

Statue of liberty selfie

'Another big newspaper just went out of business.', 'How did you hear about that?', 'I read it on the internet.'

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

"All the better to ignore you with."

"Buy my data $20"

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

Books On Paper

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

His Master's Data.

"He leaves behind a wife, two kids, three grandkids, and a 239-day streak on Duolingo."

'When I was young we didn't have the interweb at our fingertips. . . we had to go to the library to get our questions answered!'

"Offering free Wi-Fi was genius."

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

"That was good, but we could have watched it on my phone."