Digital Dissenters T-Shirts

Departures. I could never watch TV shows on a handheld device. My mom always said sitting too close to the screen would ruin my eyes.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Rare Books

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

The Proust of Twitter

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

The other digital divide.

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

"I virtually finished my homework."

'You see this app? It starts a revolution.'

'Follow the revolution on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Blogspot,,,'

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Assange Among Friends

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

That night, Andy attempted to start a Twitter revolution.

'We don't want to deny you the right to protest, but no more signs, tents, singing...'

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'