Digital Commerce Strategist T-Shirts

Internet sales tax

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Lynching on social media

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Online form - Submit.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

CEO with SEO

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

"You know, there are other emojis."

Likes: $2.

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

Obsession with the Internet.

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

I should probably get out more.

Eldrow

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"It's not an actual hotdog, but digital ownership in a picture of an actual hotdog."

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

Connected to Technology.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Man doing a search on a computer

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"