Digital Book Detective Pillows

"I've switched to e-books but nature has yet to thank me."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Computer Expert

Where was I?

Terry had a computer bug.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Books: Soon to be made into a major computer App.

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'Read any good Apps lately?'

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"Careful! He knows computers."

Clickbait

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"Homes on Holmes"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."