Digging Diva T-Shirts

Faculty Lounge. Archeologists throw the worst parties --- We went to a field and looked for leg bones. It wasn't a party, Ernie. It was a "shin-dig."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

Sunbathers.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

The Modern Novel.

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Downloading Pregnancy

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

' Get ready to make a wish.'

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Influence this."

"The bones were bad enough, but this is just ridiculous."

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

The quarantine self cut.

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

Remote work

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

"My smart watch says I’m really dumb."

'I juggle a family, a career, and three cell phones.'

Kevin: King of the Social Influencers.

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

"We're getting somewhere now. This is the exact opposite of what I want."

Pregnancy and Laptops

"Just wait until you read my tweets."

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'