Dieting Warriors Prints

Not All Diets Work.

Overeaters Anonymous - Welcome New Members! What - no buffet?

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

To do before Saturday...

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Valleyview diet clinic

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Motivation to Keep Fit.

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

Shrink

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

"Ready to head back?"

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.