Diet Mugs

"Oh, it's the best thing since small-batch, artisanal, unsliced bread."

"Should we pick up something for the folks who don't eat red meat?"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Surgery is scheduled six weeks from today. Don't eat anything before then."

Marrow transplants

"Apparently, it's extremely bad for the heart. But I wouldn't worry ??" it only affects people who have one."

"You need to include more calcium in your diet."

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

'I had the same thing for lunch.'

'Take more vitamins... Well maybe you shouldn't take so many vitamins.'

"Wait, are you Gluten Free?"

"I have no idea what gluten is, either, but I'm avoiding it, just to be safe."

"I'm a doctor from the future, with revolutionary health advice. Exercise, drink plenty of water and eat your veggies."

Mosquito Worry About Saturated Fats

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

"When I say I'm rich I don't just mean in Omega 3 oils."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Healthy Chocolate Co.

"And for all you people with food allergies, this next song's lyrics contain no gluten or peanuts."

'You're a fat bastard and you should go on a diet.'

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'That sweater would fit you better if you would diet.' 'Okay, what colour should I dye it?'

Snowman wife to husband eating ice cream: 'Remember what the diabetes counselor said, Hal - you are what you eat.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"How can I lose weight when I don't like any of this month's Top 10 Workout Songs?"

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

"Put an olive in it please. My doctor told me to eat more greens!"

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Why Rome Fell:'Peel you a grape? Don't you know that the skin is where all the vitamins are?'

"I gained a lot of weight when I stopped working in oil, and switched to butter!"

Journey to the center of Jules Microbiome

Signs that colas are making you fat. . .

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'