Diet-conscious Friend Mugs

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'NOW you tell me you're a VEGETARIAN!'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

All Natural Nothing

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Dessert - the most important meal of the day.

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

"In the morning I eat nothing then I wait 4 hours and eat nothing again."

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."